A rating system for Indian English

Let's get this out of the way: English is chaotic. Everyone seems to have their own way of speaking it -- their own phrases, euphemisms and sentence formations. Of course, this wouldn't be a problem if we had an authoritative guide to go by -- something like 'Her Majesty's Official Textbook of English' or 'The Official English Standard' -- but we don't.

If enough people use a phrase for an extended period of time, it is officially accepted into the language; it appears in a reputed dictionary. I'm sure you know that 'googling' is a word, but did you know that 'noob' ('newbie' or 'beginner'), 'woot' and 'lol' are now part of the Oxford English Dictionary?

This goes for Indian English too. As the nation with the second largest number of English speakers, Indians have a lot of collective clout when it comes to getting words accepted into the language. Consequently, phrases born in India are not inherently wrong; if they're wrong, it's usually because they're not used widely enough or contain a grammatical error.

And so...

We need a rating system for Indian phrases. Fortunately, I've designed one. The scale goes from 1 to 5. The higher the rating, the less appropriate the phrase is for general use. Introducing our unit of grammatical inaccuracy, the Look of Disapproval (thanks, Reddit):

ಠ_ಠ

The rating system explained

From now on, each phrase we discuss will have a Disapproval rating associated with it.

ಠ_ಠ One Look of Disapproval:

This indicates a word or phrase that is widespread enough for most people to understand you when you use it. Though it's technically an Indian phrase, it's used by people of other countries as well, including native speakers. Using it occasionally is perfectly acceptable, though you'll still get the dreaded look from language purists.

Eg: Guru, pundit, karma

ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Two Looks of Disapproval:

This indicates a phrase of Indian origin, sometimes borrowed directly from a regional language, which does not have a close substitute in 'mainstream' English. Try to avoid these whenever you can, at least in a formal context.

Eg: Timepass, lathi-charge

ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Three Looks of Disapproval:

Three looks signify something that is sure to mark you as an Indian speaker. Though widely accepted in the sub-continent, it's a bad idea to put this type of phrase in writing or use it while speaking to a non-Indian.

Eg: Where are you put up?, Lakhs, Crores

ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Four Looks of Disapproval:

When you see four looks, you know that there's probably a direct and more elegant substitute for the phrase in question, and that the phrase should be avoided at all costs.

Eg: My leg is paining

ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Five Looks of Disapproval:

A five-look phrase is something to steer well clear of. Not only does it label you a crude speaker; in the right circles, it also gets you laughed at. Such a phrase usually contains a grammatical error or an ambiguity.

Eg: Revert back, I passed out in 2010

And finally, the Look of Approval:

ʘ‿ʘ

There exist some words and phrases that are used so widely across the world that few realise that they're of Indian origin. Utter these with pride and remember that English, contrary to most people's assumptions, is a very welcoming language.

Eg: Juggernaut, loot, pariah

Ultimately, the way you want to speak and write English is entirely your decision. This rating system is designed to help you choose what stand you want to take.

Someone who feels that the only 'pure' words are those that have been accepted into a dictionary might choose to avoid all words and phrases with a rating above one look. Someone who has a more liberal definition of valid English would avoid any phrase with a rating above three looks. A reasonable approach to take is to avoid four- and five-look phrases altogether and three-look phrases in writing (or while speaking to a non-Indian).

[Edit: As pointed out by Navin (see comments below), one-look words are 'acceptable' for general use as opposed to only 'pardonable'. Just don't go overboard with them.]